I stood by the well, where he had sat to rest. My thoughts were running around like crazy trying to grasp one thread, which would be right to start talking. Awareness, that I’m completely known let me understand, that I don’t have to strain on conventions. „… you perceive my thoughts from afar…” Ps. 139.2
He was looking at me with approval, as if he was proud of me, as if I had never let Him down. His sight, full of acceptance, was hugging every part of me, even that one, which wanted to protect itself against His Love, which didn’t allow to be touched. It „cut my heart” into pieces.
I was standing like that and that while was going on. I was also aware, that I’m a part of the biblical story and for a moment I took part of Samaritan woman. Here, by the Jacob’s well in Sychar town ( Gr. trans. drunk, tipsy) those important words connecting worship had been said. „… the true worshippers…” J 4,23. Despite I knew that story very well and had heard many inspiring sermons about that part of the Bible, I asked Jesus a question:
What do You want to tell me Lord?
What I had heard was completely new for me. It seemed I knew something about worship, yet that simple sentence stopped my breath. „ I was stuck”. I felt like the queen of Sheba, who, while visiting Solomon, was hit by manifesting God’s Presence. Then during burnt offering, which Solomon was sacrificing, God’s Glory appeared.
If you won’t drink water, which only I have, then what you’ll do for Me won’t be a worship.
There was no reproach in it, neither accusation. As if He was ready, I will never understand that, and will serve him with all my strength, as yet.
My experience of meeting Jesus came to an end. I found myself at home. For a while, looking around the room, I thought about what had happened. I wasn’t sleeping for sure. It wasn’t also any fanciful imagination. I still felt that warmth of desert and heat of sun. The noisiest were yet the words, spoken by Jesus. I’ve noticed that without, what only He owns – „live water” – I will never be in a place He wants. And it doesn’t mean that, what I have been doing till now was wrong… I realised yet, that there’s a difference: it can be deeper.
Samaritan woman used to come to the well at the time, so as not to meet anybody. Strong shame didn’t let her confront the opinion of others. Five husbands, and the sixth one wasn’t even her husband. Sight of someone by the well, in addition a Jew, wasn’t a dreamt scenario for her. They started a talk, which was brought to the nature of worship, and Jesus did something, what changed the Samaritan woman’s life. I’m sure, she had drunk live water, water from Jesus’s hands. Although the Bible doesn’t say it straight away, I notice it. Yet she returned to the town with her head held high. What was she saying attracted the attention, nobody was indifferent – that’s the potential of true worship, in the presence of which all passivity has to go away.
Water on the desert determined „to be or not to be”, necessary component of survival. Yet custom of everyday’s drawing it from the well, was not sufficient. „… everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again…” J 4.13 it let only survive, but made no difference: difference, which leads to the change of the whole town.
I began to understand. Real worshipper knows, that drawing water from the well is too little; knows that only water from his hands has power to satisfy forever: „… but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst…” J 4.14. a while of talk with Him was enough for me to understand also this, He will always be, where the well is. And always when I approach it I can ask that question: „ where are you Jesus?”. I feel safe because I know, He is in what I’m striving for; when I come to draw the water to give to people. Yet when I want a change, a breakthrough I need to meet Jesus, to take „live water” from His hands. I don’t quite understand, what it is … but I’m sure, that’s what makes breakthrough. One I know, understand, am sure: the Samaritan woman had chosen, so I stand against confronting decision each time I come to the well.
Yes, I want to be a true worshipper.